haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
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