So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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