the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
i dont even know how to be here
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
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