I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
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