Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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