I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
Randomize
