i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Randomize
