i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Randomize
