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We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
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