I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
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