he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
