i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Randomize
