is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
either way he was missing a nipple.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
