You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Randomize
