how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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