at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
