I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
