how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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