I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
