where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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