dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
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