Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
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