Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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