It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Randomize
