Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize