yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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