We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Randomize