Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
i used baking grease as lip gloss
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
