Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
That's when you crack a 10am beer
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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