what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
My pussy is not your playground.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
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