just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Randomize
