Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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