I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
So vagazzling was a success
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
