I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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