Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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