Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I have aggressive nipples.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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