You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
