Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
