I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
