i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
