I saw his package. It spoke to me.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Randomize
