Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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