i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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