you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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