Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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