these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Green mimosas i think yes
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize