yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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