If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Randomize