I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
