At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
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