i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
