he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Randomize
