jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
