Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(315): View more from New York

The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months

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(707): View more from California

drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.

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(305): View more from Florida

It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children

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(310): View more from California

Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide

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(416): View more from Toronto

He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.

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(256): View more from Alabama

Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.

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(850): View more from Florida

A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.

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(716): View more from New York

This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings

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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face

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