I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
