i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
