I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
