How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
well you can't waste a boner
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Randomize
