we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize
