Taylor Swift is so right about you.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
