seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
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